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Redneck Computer Dictionary

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Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter. Log Off: Don't add no wood. Monitor: Keepin' an eye on the wood stove. Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup. Mega Hertz: When yer not careful downloadin'. Floppy Disk: Whatcha git from pilin' too much firewood. Ram: The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood. Hard Drive: Gettin' home in the winter season. Prompt: What you wish the mail was in the winter. Windows: What to shut when it's below 15 below. Screen: What 'cha need for the black fly season. Byte: That's what the flies do. Chip: What to munch on. Micro Chip: What's left in the bottom of the bag. Infrared: Where the left-overs go when Fred's around. Modem: What 'cha did to the hay fields. Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrix's wife. Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy. Keyboard: Where ya hang your keys. Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils. Mouse: Whats eats the horses grain. Main Frame: Hold up the barn roof. Port: Fancy wine. Enter: C'mon in. Random Access Memory: You can't remember whatcha' paid for that new rifle when your wife asks.

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