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IT Professional Achievements

Posted: 2019-12-16
By: dwirch
Viewed: 297

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General, Humor, Blog

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I stumbled across a thread containing a bunch of gamer-style achievements for IT folks. Some are humorous, and there are those that you will silently nod your head and agree with

It might be fun to see if we can come up with a list of achievements, with point values. Heck, I might just build a tool for tracking your achievements, acoording to this list, which you can include in your profile or on other sites. Anyway, sounds like a fun way to while away these slow days around the holidays.

Wikipedia identifies a gamer achievement as:

Achievements are included within games to extend the title's longevity and provide players with the impetus to do more than simply complete the game but to also find all of its secrets and complete all of its challenges. They are effectively arbitrary challenges laid out by the developer to be met by the player.

Leave your additions to the start list I've shown below!

It was DNSSuccessfully prove that DNS was in fact the problem10
I took down the whole networkApply changes during the middle of a work day, without first saving the running config to the startup config100
Windows patch broke the serverTemporarily make a server or service unavailable due to applying vendor prescribed patches or updates20
MSP didn't provide much serviceEasy. Happens so often you should be able to amass quickly1
Running with ScissorsEnabled unsecure service due to vendor requirement20
Mission accomplishedClosed Ticket because user no longer works here.30
Hands FreeWhen you're here and I try that, it suddenly works5
Just the TipResolve a support ticket by properly plugging in a cable that was only partially plugged in.5
Out of OfficeSuccessfully take two weeks of vacation without anyone calling you about an issue.1000
PeonWith a senior title, drop everything to fix a CEO's minor issue-5
Who, me?Dumpster some critical service and successfully recover it without anybody realizing it was all your fault.500
Down the Well Dropped a table in production100
Cut it off Truncate table in production 80
Claustrophobia Get sealed into any crawlspace by a non-IT worker who didn't know you were in there. -100
Brain Bleach, STAT Get scarred for life by having to review CCTV footage -100
Tread Lightly Get sealed (by non-IT staff) into an attic above offices. -100
Things that go bump Get sealed (by non-IT staff) into a crawlspace underneath the floor of offices -100
Animal Control Determine that a network problem is caused by local wildlife and successfully remove them from the premises 500
F*#k it, we'll do it live! Successfully set up a production system you have no training for without vendor help. 1000
Groundhog Day Have five Mondays in a week -500
Grossly Incandescent Legitimately blame light fixtures for a problem200
Capa's Dream Legitimately blame any solar phenomenon for IT problems 100
How Do You Know That? Use skills obtained in a non-IT hobby to fix an IT problem. 250
IT Crowd Resolve issue by rebooting5
The desk rabbit When working under desk/table, user doesn't realize you're there and resumes working 50
Reconfigure the primary power couplingresolve issue by plugging it in5
CompletionistCarry out password resets for every user in an org 50
Camper Both create and deactivate an individual's accounts, 3 times 40
Easter Egg Find something unexpected and noteworthy of a predecessor/old system 25
The Ol' Switcheroo Onboard and Deactivate the same user without them ever starting work 10
Quickie Quick question from clueless coworker while on your way to fix urgent issue 10
Your place or mine?Fix a client's problem by going to their house 20
Not My MonkeySuccessfully hand off an issue you have nothing to do with50
Walmart GreeterSuccessfully roll back a change before anyone notices 100
You're alone on this one, SonWhen you have a problem and even the company's support cannot help you because it never happened to anyone else in the world. -250
Undocumented Make a post asking about an error code and later edit it with never mind fixed it without saying what you did-1000000
I am the oneFind a resolution to an error code that isn't documented anywhere online and post the fix.1,000,000
Its not me, its youISP says there is nothing wrong on their end, because no one else is reporting it. Later it is deemed to be on their end50
Nakatomi PlazaA critical hard drive failure takes the system down-50
John McClaneYou successfully recover the system from backups100
Hans GruberThe backups didn't work-500
That was easyFix something just by walking into the room50
Miracle worker Fix something that everyone else thought was unfixable 100
Geto Boys Take home a decommissioned piece of hardware to destroy it in an act of vengeance for all the trouble it caused 1000
VMify and forget itConvert a failing physical server to a VM to avoid having to rebuild it from scratch250
Cloud PanicRealize you've made a horrible mistake by moving your workloads to the cloud-500
Three EnvelopesDo something so catastrophically bad that you are better off updating your resume than trying to fix it-10000
What is it that you do here again?Refuse to train up to the point where all of your IT skills become redundant-1000
Golden MindMemorize all of your servers IPs500
ObscuristFind the answer to your issue beyond the 10th page of your Google search200
InceptionDeploy a virtual server inside a virtual server150
Butter FingersDrop and break a peice of equipment worth more than $5,000-5000
FiredTell a user how incompetent they truely are2500
MasochistAccidentally volunteer for work you didn't want to do-200
Security SpecialistCatch a user doing something illegal150
.bat ExpertAutomate yourself out of a job-500
The WhispererAn end user you've trained successfully recognizes and deletes a malicious email200
Leroy JenkinsTell the CTO what you really think1000
It Was a Good DayConsume a healthy lunch, work out, close all tickets and go home on time250
Full CircleFix an issue after finding a solution you posted online and forgot about150
I'm taking credit anywayThe user thanked you for fixing their problem. You didn't fix it and have no idea why or how it went away on it's own100
Aw FuckExecute a command that reset the NIC, while logged in remotely-100
Aw Fuck DeluxeGet an Aww Fuck while more than 4 hours drive from the device in question-2500
Don't wake DaddySuccessfully patch production environment during off hours without user opening a down ticket during the restarts150
I like to live dangerouslydeploy to production on Friday after 3pm50
Dr. DumpDiagnosed Issue from Memory Dump50
Lie DetectorAudit logs prove the client broke it100
Your first time?use a standard serial cable on APC UPS and bring the whole rack down100
Ooopsie accidentaly reboot the wrong server20
Fire Marshal BillServer room on fire, sprinklers took care of it 25
Hey while your hereGet asked to fix another issue not related to why you were there in the first place10
What fire?accidentally set off the Halon fire suppression in the server room-1000
ShaggyTake down the whole network and successfully blame someone else100
BuddhaWorked a whole day and never spoke to a human soul100
TerminatorExecute sudo rm -rfv --no-preserve-root /-5000
That's a penis!Discover a user is looking at porn on the company network 5
I'm in!Use an exploit to break in to your own equipment because the creds aren't known50
Areola BoldFind a user's porn stash in their fonts folder25
Self-destructAutomate yourself out of a job25
MurderAutomate another user out of a job25
You Shall Not PassWiped out permissions for thousands of users cause of xcacls10
Momma taught me goodSuccessfully complete a month of backups300
Sole SurvivorKeep job despite merger/layoffs, still wind up being the only black dude in the department1
Failure's Not an OptionRecover virtual environment after SAN controllers fail to failover properly99
What's That Smell?Stay at work for over 36 hours13
End of an Eraspinup/spindown of a datacenter100
RTFMFind the solution for something by reading the product manual25
Robot OverlordWrite scripts to automate menial, time consuming, life draining tasks.1 per task
Jedi Mind TrickGet a problem user or client to admit they were totally wrong without making them feel bad50
yOu'Re a WiZarD!!1Fix a simple problem (i.e. compact and repair a DB, plug a cable in, etc.), leaving the user in complete awe of your unrivaled technical prowess50
Scream Test ArtistéSolve a mystery by turning something off and waiting for someone to complain in order to figure out what the hell it is100
Task Failed SuccessfullyRecieve a self-contradicting error message 20
Just doin' my job ma'amMaintain professionalism when the user is gushing after you fix something100
You do not talk about Fight ClubCome up with the perfect pun to put in a password and tell no one500
Say hello to my little friend!Have the exact fix for an obscure issue on your USB drive or network share without having to look for it1000
Where is your God now?Crash Task Manager2500
DBAs FriendSuccessfully patched production database with untested script10000
Russian RouletteSuccessfully reboot a server with over 600 days of uptime250
Error ProneMake IT coworker google ID10T error code10000
DialtoneSpent 30 hours (in one week) talking to Indian 'support agents' that hung up on me when I told them they were wrong5
GutenbergWrote the guide to fix an issue that the vendor themselves couldn't fix50
CensoredPosted it to their forum and was banned for 'posting data that could harm, confuse or mislead other users' by sharing this guide-50
Hasta la Vista, Baby!Delete your own credentials from the network after being laid off-1000
Trick ShotAccurately identify an issue without even looking at it50
Nothing more permanentCreate a temporary fix that becomes the permanent solution-1000
What did you just do?Cause an outage by unplugging the wrong cable-50
And now his watch is endedDecommission a machine that's been in production more than ten years1500
Captain TrippsHave an anti-virus update quarantine critical system files and crash at least 10% of your site.-1000
Oooh! Shiny!Take home a piece of hardware that is no longer required by the business1000

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